Book Reviews

"Look at My Ugly Face¹/': Myths and Musings on Beauty and Other Perilous Obsessions with Women's Appearance by Sara Halprin

Viking, 1995. 344 pages, hardcover, $22.95 Penguin, 1996. 344 pages, paper, $12.95

We sense our own beauty and privilege even as we deny these.

I tend to be skeptical of any book about appearance. Born in the 1960s and raised on fashion magazines which focused on achieving the mainstream norm of beauty, I still think in terms of disguising figure flaws. While popular women's magazines are still full of fashion and diet tips, feminist thought has challenged the concept that women need to achieve an external standard of beauty. For the past thirty years, many women have heard that we can choose not to mold ourselves to culturally determined definitions of beauty. Nevertheless, many of us, including some who were born after the rebirth of feminism, find ourselves struggling with mainstream ideals of beauty. Along with a sense of freedom, feminism introduced a dilemma: many women now not only feel dissatisfied with their bodies, but feel guilty for noticing or caring about appearance.

The pursuit of beauty has for centuries been a perilous preoccupation: women have starved and stuffed, tattooed and pierced ourselves, died of metal and silicone poisoning in the name of erasing ugliness and achieving the current concept of beauty. Even feminist discussions of the beauty topic often fail to reach beyond this beautiful princess/warty witch polarity. A delightful exception is "Look at My Ugly Face!": Myths and musings on beauty and other perilous obsessions with women's appearance. Author and therapist Sara Halprin delves into ancient myth and modern film to offer radical ideas about the roles of beauty and ugliness in women's lives. Look at My Ugly Face is a quietly subversive book which will appeal not only to feminist scholars, but to women and men who may never have considered alternatives to cultural definitions of beauty.

Trained in process-oriented psychology, which takes a teleological view on prob-

lems, Halprin takes the unusual position that women's focus on appearance may actually be useful. Rather than encouraging us to get over our obsessions, she looks for ways to use our preoccupation to free ourselves from the appearance trap. Stepping outside both the "beauty as a goal" and "ignore appearance" positions, Halprin introduces a radical view. Her revolutionary concept is that beauty and ugliness, rather than being absolutes, are roles, or tendencies, which women may use to discover more about their power. Halprin uses a wide range of examples to illustrate the potential usefulness within archetypal roles of beauty and ugliness. One clear personal example is her exploration of her own skin, which she sees as "thick and large-pored," far from the fine delicate skin she desires. Exploring the nature of thick skin, Halprin discovers that what she has considered ugly is useful to her as a public figure exposed to many situations where metaphorically, she needs very thick skin.

Halprin covers an incredible amount of ground with agility and balance. Beginning with an ancient Taoist myth about Sun Pu-erh, who scarred her face in order to study meditation, a path forbidden to traditionally "beautiful" women, Halprin offers examples of the potential for strength and independence in what has traditionally been considered "ugly" by the collective. She addresses the racialized context of fashion and the impact of racism on women's views of our appearance, with a particularly powerful analysis of mainstream privilege, which leads us to "damage ourselves and others with judgments based on entirely arbitrary standards of beauty and ugliness." Personal stories from a wide range of women explore the impact of physical disability on women's view of appearance, the cultural construction of beauty, and the aging process.

The most liberating aspect of this book is Halprin's thesis that women may "try on" or play with various roles. The final chapters explore how practices such as cross dressing offer the potential for women to enter into previously unknown territory by venturing into what has been considered ugly. Tucked in the appendix are exercises for those who are curious about trying new concepts and roles in relation to appearance.

Look at My Ugly Face functions as an erudite romp for scholars and a delightful companion for anyone. Halprin, while not overly sunny about women's current position, points out how we can begin to work against oppression by developing an awareness of stereotypes around beauty and ugliness. It offers the reader an optimistic alternative to self-help books, and may in fact provide some of the help that many of us desire in escaping the appearance obsession. Reviewed by Leslie Heizer

Metaskills: The Spiritual Art of Therapy

by Amy Mindell

New Falcon Publications, 1995.192 pages, paper, $12.95

If you are at all interested in working with people, this book is an absolute must! In a loving and playful way Amy Mindell encourages therapists to discover the fundamental feeling attitudes they bring to therapeutic work. She inspires them to delve into their deepest beliefs about life and themselves and thereby suggests that being a therapist is a spiritual task. This book demonstrates how spiritual beliefs are the foundation of any psychotherapeutic work.

Amy Mindell introduces the reader to metaskills, which are the feelings and attitudes that therapists bring to their work. Through the focus on metaskills, this book unifies different psychological schools. Rather than focusing on specific techniques and methodology, Mindell addresses the way we practice psychotherapy, and tackles the essential question of what makes therapy effective. She describes how background attitudes influence therapeutic work, and calls on therapists to appreciate the basic feelings that pervade their actions. Used with awareness, these feelings become the metaskills that create an atmosphere where the therapeutic process can flourish. The therapist becomes a true role model or even spiritual guide, conveying her skills in accordance with nature.

This book addresses the most crucial elements of therapy, yet is very accessible. Metaskills celebrates the human spirit, encouraging everyone, including the therapist, to bring his or her full self to the therapeutic process. Amy Mindell takes us through a variety of case examples which demonstrate the specific metaskills that she describes. Her writing conveys lightheartedness, humor, detachment, curiosity, awareness, playfulness, compassion, creativity, in short, her metaskills.

Amy's background in process work is essential to her perspective. However, her discovery of metaskills is a universal teaching and is beneficial to therapists from various backgrounds. Her insights are refreshing and stimulating; they can connect any therapist or health care worker, from eager beginners to those on the verge of burnout, with their original calling. Reviewed by Renata Ackermann and Dawn Menken

Sitting in the Fire: Large Group Transformation Using Conflict and Diversity

by Arnold Mindell

Lao Tse Press, 1995. 272 pages, paper, $15.95

Arnold Mindell has shaken up conventional thinking in psychology more than once. His pioneering research in process work has transformed ways we look at body symptoms and illness, relationship problems, psychiatry and extreme states, and comatose states and dying processes. With his latest book, he takes on the challenging and controversial issues of group work and world politics.

Arnold Mindell challenges current conflict resolution methods when he suggests to engage in conflict rather than run away from it or use techniques to avoid confrontations between warring parties. One will not find prescriptive solutions to particular world problems, but will discover that solutions arise out of the spontaneous experience of group interaction. With awareness and an openness to all voices, Mindell demonstrates how we can creatively transform chaotic and violent conflicts into sustainable communities.

Disturbances in the feeling atmosphere of any group which are not expressed or heard, whether they be unpopular opinions or frightened voices, will sooner or later interfere with any solution that did not allow their message. In order to be able to rec ognize, appreciate and incorporate the differences that individuals bring to a group, the author urges us to look at our own privileges due to gender, race, age, religion, sexual orientation, education or economic situation. We need to notice and celebrate the rank we have in any given situation so that we can use it with awareness. Arnold Mindell shows us how personal work is intimately connected with worldwork, how personal pain and public abuse can make us vengeful and unconscious of rank.

The descriptions of group work are palpable; suddenly we are transported into an international group in the midst of heated conflict and find ourselves melting as different positions transform and community is created. With the detachment of an ancient sage, the precision of a scientist, the street smarts of a gangster and the curiosity of a child, Mindell models how to sit in the fire and facilitate the impossible. He is a true leader, guiding us into unknown territory and daring to question and show where he too is learning.

Sitting in the Fire is likely to bring up many reactions. The author does not hold back and his passion is evident. We feel the heat in his writing and the intensity in his message. This is a revolutionary book, but not just for revolutionaries; it's for all of us who care about the world. This book strikes at the foundation of our cultural lethargy. It inspires us to believe that we can do something meaningful to facilitate world problems. There are deep and accessible solutions to intractable situations.

After cooking in the fire we emerge with ancient wisdom echoed in the book's closing words: "To make this a better world, notice the timespirits and bring them forward. .. Value trouble. Accept nature... Enjoy the sunshine and the rain, and nature will do the rest." Reviewed by Renata Ackermann and Dawn Menken